Lifeless
by nerdyandlovebooks
Summary: After Tris died, Tobias was lifeless. Tris stays with him, but he still grieves over her. After Allegiant story. (Aka tear jerker)


**This story may be a tear jerker if you cried in Allegiant. Just warning you.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Divergent or characters. If I was Veronica Roth, Allegiant would have a happy ending Dx**

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**Tobias POV**

I didn't sleep. Sometimes, I walk around for the whole night. Sometimes, I climb the ferris wheel, fearless, not caring about the height, just thinking about the ferocity in Tris' eyes and her determination to win Capture the Flag. Sometimes, I just cry.

I was quiet when I came to Dauntless, and I had put my walls up. Shauna and Zeke became my friends, but they never broke down my walls and cared for me as much as Tris did. I decide to right a letter, because Shauna said it might help, and maybe, just maybe, Tris would somehow read it, even if she is dead.

_**Tris POV **_

I stand by Tobias, watching him shakily write a letter. I sit next to him on his bed, my head on his shoulder. He can't hear or see me, maybe he feels my prescence. I don't know. He starts to tear up, his hands shaking even more. It's painful for me to see him cry. For him to cry over me that much, I would never expect him to grieve that much. For him to grieve, maybe a few weeks, and maybe in a few years get a new girlfriend, start a family. And it pains me the most that he's grieving over someone who is right next to him. Alive? No, but stil next to him. It pains me that I can't kiss him the way I used to, or feel is warmth. I can enter his dreams, but I know if I do that, it will be messing with him and it will make his depression even worse. I read what he writes down.

_Tris,_

_I'm sorry. I'm sorry for ever not trusting you, for lying to you. For our relationship to be a complicated one._

_But I loved you, and I still do. And sometimes I think I feel your prescence, but your not there. You're the person that I loved the most._

_Sometimes I climb the ferris wheel. I don't have a fear of heights anymore, not really. It feels silly writing to you, but Tris, if you are reading this, then know you we're the most beautiful girl I ever met. The most selfless, the most brave._

_It's been five years Tris. The faction system is free to leave now, and it is rebuilt for anyone, and the buildings are nice. _

_Sometimes I go back to our spot in the chasm. It is my thinking place, but now it is my grieving place. You are constantly on my mind, and I hope, I hope you are my last thought._

_I used to drink to forget. Until you came, Tris. And now I start to drink again, trying to forget your death._

_I'm lifeless now. In the mornings its the worst. I usually don't sleep at all, but when I do, I wake up, thinking you're alive. Then it hits me, harder than any bullet would, and I break down._

_I wish I could kiss you one more time. To touch you, or at least talk to you. And it kills me day by day that I can't._

_I said I would see you soon. Maybe I will._

_I love you,_

_Tobias_

I start to cry. Tobias lays down, staring at the wall. I lay down next to him, and I put my arms around him, even though I know he can't feel it.

"Tobias," I whisper. "Please. Move on. It hurts me to see you this way. Please. I love you. Please move on. Even if you do I will still love you."

He's asleep now, so I kiss him on the cheek. We aren't supposed to communicate with the living, but I need to write something to him.

_I can't explain this. Were not supposed to communicate with the living, but I am with you every single day and I am right next to you._

_You can't grieve forever, Tobias. Please. Move on._

_I will always love you._

_Tris_

He is sleeping, and his hand is stretched outward. I put the note in his hand, and his hand closes around it.

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I wake up in the morning, and Tobias starts to wake up too. He looks at the note in his hand, confused.

"What the hell?"

He straightens out the crinkled paper, reading the note.

I know he knows its really me, because Evelyn and I are the only ones that use his real name. Even though Christina and Zeke know it, they still call him Four. Old habits die hard, I guess.

He whips is head around looking straight at me.

"Tris?"

**-15 YEARS LATER-**

He got married, and I was there. He found a new love, and he doesn't grieve as much anymore.

I'm happy.

His wife is pregnant. Her name is Ana, and she is really pretty.

I don't watch her give birth, but I do wait outside.

I watch them walk out with a baby, and it's a girl. She has deep blue eyes, like Tobias.

I leave them, eventually letting them have their privacy, even though technically I wasn't there anyway.

I visit them 4 years later, when their daughter was first going to school. Tobias waits outside, and when class is dismissed, their daughter runs to Tobias. I think, that if I lived, how that word could have changed to our daughter.

"Tris!" Tobias says. I whip my head around at the sound of my name, and then that's when I realize.

I realize that he named his daughter after me, and that he still knows i'm watching.

And I'm happy. For him, and for his family.

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**I cried writing this. It was painful.**

**Do you guys want me to continue? It was more of a one shot kinda thing but I can continue if you guys want.**

**Four came out today! I bought the autographed copy. I finished it already :)**

**Have an awesome day!**


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